Yesterday, I was feeling lousy. I did not think much about what to do for the day and ended up screaming at my children! To worsen, I was yelled over the phone after I told a mainland chinese telemarketer that I do not have interest for the demonstration. She had called the day before to ask if she could ask me some questions. Out of kindness, I relented as I am not very proficient to her mandarin. So after her 5 minutes of talk, I had a call from my mp so I had to stop her as I was still figuring out what she was trying to sell to me! Anyway, it really didn't feel good when she told me to go and die!
Taken aback, had I allowed such vocab out of my mouth in my fit of anguish too? Maybe "shut up", "get lost", "go away" are some vocab that I should not allow them to slip out again to my children-my rewards from my womb! It is interesting to see how our past has effect on us to such a late stage. I mean, I didn't know that I am so impatient and lacking in love till I stayed at home to mother my 2 children. What I had thought about myself fell into rumbles each time I lost my cool!
I do need time to wake up early to seek the Lord for guidance and strength. But, my children wake up at 7plus so I have to wake up at 6am! Life as a SAHM is alot of discipline. Again, I used to think that I am well- discipline. Just wait till you be a mum and stay at home, all your ugly sides will emerge and glare at you 24/7! Sorry I am not yelling or chiding anyone, I am just trying to say that you should put your character to the test by taking the less travelled route- SAHM.
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SAHM is truly a test of character. Though I'm not yet one, I can appreciate the discipline and resilience one requires to do this joyfully! :-)
SAHM-an ideal to attain but one that needs constant renewal of commitment (wah, speak as though I'm one!)
Well done, Katie. Hang in there for the love of God to our little precious rewards!
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